Invasion of Weyard
by Kyarorain
Summary: One man's scheme to invade Weyard with lots of evil things. The Apocalypse has truly come to Weyard.
1. Chapter 1

**Invasion of Weyard**

* * *

This was something I wrote quite a while back on a rather bad sugar high. Looking bad at it, some of it made me cringe, so I took it down and rewrote it so now it's somewhat improved and less of a smoking trainwreck.

Camelot owns Golden Sun! I don't own most of the stuff in here. There's too much for me to say what I don't own. Just assume I don't own anything.

* * *

For a while now, Weyard had been at peace as it thrived on Alchemy and began to regrow. As of yet, nobody had attempted to take over or start wars, so everybody was feeling quite relaxed. Little did the people of Weyard know that peace could not possibly last for long.

There was a man. His name was Bill Gates, the overlord of the brainwashing company known as Microsoft, and for some bizarre and unexplainable reason, he had discovered a portal leading to Weyard. A portal leading through the Gameboy Advance. Nobody knew Bill Gates had one. He would be seen as a traitor to the X-Box franchise if that was the case.

Bill Gates's cunning plan was to unleash various forms of evil upon Weyard. It was a very simple and easy plan. Somehow, he had collected all the evil he could find and crammed it into one single Pokéball. Bill smiled at the round, metallic object and then flung it through the portal.

"Various forms of evil, I choose you!" yelled Bill, before closing the portal and discreetly slipping the GBA into a top secret drawer labelled "TOP SECRET DRAWER. DO NOT OPEN." Then he got off his dark, ominous throne and walked away, laughing maniacally.

The Pokéball sailed through the air, spinning gracefully before it impacted with the ground with a soft thud and came to a stop just inside Vale. However, it did not open. Somehow, Bill Gates's evil and simple plan was almost about to go entirely wrong and not even work at all. Weyard would have breathed a sigh of relief if they knew what was going on, then let out a scream of horror as the shadow of a young boy fell over the shiny object.

Aaron Jerra stared down at the Pokéball, a look of amazement on his face. What could this small and innocent looking shiny object possibly be? Aaron picked it up and ran back home, quite eager to show his family the mysterious thing that he had found. He ran right into his house, almost colliding with his older brother. The Pokéball sailed out of his hand and hit the floor, rolling away for dear life.

"Huh? Hey, does that have food in it?" Garet asked as he stared at the shiny rolling object. A line of drool began to come out of the corner of his mouth. "I want it!"

"No! My ball!" Aaron yelled, giving chase after the magically rolling Pokéball. It continued to roll away as he pursued it, only to be stopped by the foot of the one person who was least unlikely to let it escape and more likely to roast it. Kay.

"What is this?" Kay demanded, reaching down to pick up the Pokéball and looking haughtily at her distressed youngest brother. "Where did you find it, Aaron?" For some reason, she was heavily suspicious of shiny, metallic red and white balls. It was not clear why.

"It's mine!" Aaron protested, reaching for the Pokéball. However, Kay simply held it up out of reach as he desperately tried to grab it. "I just found it, that's all! Please give it back, Sis!"

"Why should I?" Kay enquired, raising an eyebrow as she cruelly teased him. "You can get a perfectly good ball somewhere else. Why do you want to have it back so badly?"

"You're mean!" Aaron pouted. "I found it so it belongs to me."

"I want it!" Garet cried, quite fed up of waiting. His shirt was now heavily soaked with drool as he simply could not stop thinking of all the delicious food that might be stashed inside such a tiny object. "I'm hungry! Give it to me!"

"No!" Kay and Aaron yelled in unison, causing Garet to break down and cry bitterly.

"Give it back to me or else I will tell Mom and Dad!" Aaron demanded.

"Oh sure. Go ahead and tell," Kay said. Suddenly, in a completely strange and illogical move, the Pokéball jumped out of her hand. However, its escape was scuppered when Aaron nimbly grabbed it. He promptly turned around and ran out of the house at full speed. "AARON!" Kay screamed at the top of her voice. "You little brat! You made it jump out of my hand! I know you did!"

"Um, Sis?" Garet had his hands clasped in a begging position and he was looking wide-eyed at her. "I am really, really hungry." Kay just growled and snatched up a vase, flinging it at him. Somehow, the vase managed to get stuck on Garet's head. He screamed and began to run around in a panic, since he could not see anything. Kay did not bother to aid her little brother in his dilemma, instead she decided to go upstairs and plot evil against her other little brother. Somehow, Garet managed to find his way out of the house and ran out with the vase on his head.

---

Aaron sat on the ground, safely outside, gazing at the Pokéball sitting in his hands with a fascinated stare. There had to be something special about it. As he turned it around, he noticed a shiny little button.

"Hmm," Aaron said, quite pensively. "I do wonder what this button does."

Sheba promptly appeared out of nowhere. "I will tell you for the super low price of 50,000 gold coins!" Of course she had no idea what the button did, she just wanted some cash so that she could go shopping.

"Eh, I'll find out myself," Aaron said, prodding the button sharply. The Pokéball leaped out of his hand and opened in a flash of shiny white light.

"Uh oh!" Sheba yelled, suddenly getting a very bad feeling about this. "It's the Apocalypse! Go and warn everybody!"

"Okay," Aaron said slowly, feeling quite perplexed. Nonetheless, he ran off and continued running until he found Isaac and Mia sitting in a tree. "Isaac!"

"What?" Isaac asked, looking down at Aaron. "If this is about magical beans that Garet found, just tell him that they aren't magical!"

"Why is there a beanstalk growing behind his house then?" asked Mia.

"No!" Aaron exclaimed. "It's... a Pocket Lick! Um... Apple Calypso? A Pocket Catalyst?"

"Apocalypse?" Isaac asked, his face growing pale.

"That's it!" cried Aaron.

"Ahhhh!" Isaac and Mia screamed in horror, falling out of the tree in unison. The chickens that just happened to be sitting underneath the tree were quite unimpressed so they pecked the fallen Adepts then ran off with a goat to scare squirrels senseless.

"Isaac!" Mia cried desperately, shaking the dazed Venus Adept. "Are you okay?"

"...!" Isaac clutched his throat. "... ... ...!"

"Oh no!" Mia wailed. "Isaac's gone mute again!"

---

"What the heck?" Sheba stared in confusion as hundreds of weird and strange creatures poured out of the Pokéball. A Furby flew over and kicked her in the head, knocking her unconscious so that she could not witness the destruction the various evil began to unleash as they spread all over Weyard.

---

Aaron stared at Isaac and Mia, then for no reason at all screamed, "APOCALYPSE!" Somehow, most of Vale heard him. Now Vale was quite aware of the apocalypse that was taking place.

---

"Moo!" Garet yelled as he ran around. Unfortunately for him, he was claustrophobic and having a vase on his head certainly did not help. He ran all over Vale and almost collided with Felix, making him very mad. Garet was unaware he had just made Felix very mad.

"You have just made me very mad," said Felix.

"Who is that?" Garet asked, butting into Felix. "I can't hear very well in here. Everything sounds funny. Quack!"

"I am your worst nightmare," Felix said in his meanest voice possible. "Prepare to be annihilated."

"Cool!" Garet said, producing a pen and paper out of nowhere, holding it in a random direction. "I've always wanted to meet you! Can I please have your autograph?"

Felix wordlessly stared then took the pen and paper, feeling quite perturbed. He scrawled "Barney the Dinosaur" on it before handing it back. Unfortunately for him, the real Barney was unimpressed with being impersonated, so he popped up out of nowhere and grabbed Felix, running off with him. "Help!" yelled Felix.

"Worst nightmare?" Garet sobbed, holding onto his precious autograph. "Where are you? It's dark and scary and I'm all alone."

---

"Ooh, what's this?" Jenna asked out loud as she found the open Pokéball lying on the ground. She ignored the unconscious Sheba as she sat down next to it. As she picked it up, she saw a purple dinosaur flying overhead with a screaming Felix, which confused her because dinosaurs couldn't fly. As they disappeared into the distance, Jenna just shrugged.

"Bwahahaha!" Ronald McDonald suddenly appeared out of nowhere, wrenching the Pokéball out of Jenna's grasp. He continued to laugh maniacally as he waved it over his head.

"Aah!" Jenna was taken by fright at the sight of such a menacing looking clown that she ran for cover behind a purple polka-dotted tree. As she watched, she saw Ronald McDonald suck Sheba into the Pokéball. "Good riddance!" Jenna muttered.

"...!" Isaac appeared behind Jenna, pointing to his mouth. "... ... ..."

"Oh no, don't tell me you went mute again!" Jenna groaned, slapping her forehead. "You idiot! You know falling long distances is bad for you."

"Isaac went mute because of falling out of the tree?" Mia asked.

"Yep. When Venus Adepts fall for a certain distance or more, it makes them mute," Jenna explained. "They usually recover after a while. Felix went mute because of falling off the Venus Lighthouse. That's why you don't see bungee jumping Venus Adepts."

"..." Isaac let out a sniffle, quite unhappy at being mute.

"Where's Sheba?" Mia asked for no reason at all.

"Over there." Jenna pointed at Ronald McDonald, who had farted and was now rocketing off into the sky, a trail of yellow smoke coming from his behind. "He's kidnapped her. Oh, Barney the Dinosaur also kidnapped Felix."

"...!" Isaac began running around like a headless chicken in circles.

"It really is the Apocalypse!" Mia gasped.

"Apocalypse? Well, let's enjoy it then," Jenna suggested, grabbing a pineapple smoothie and sipping with a straw as she sat underneath the tree. "Ahh, how relaxing."

"Wahhh!" Garet yelled, running out of nowhere and crashing into the tree. A mango fell out of the tree and hit Jenna on the head. "Help me!"

"Sunuh!" Jenna rubbed her head, looking very angry. "E ryda syhkuv!"

"... Eh?" Mia blinked. Isaac solved Garet's dilemma by shattering the vase on his head with his sword.

"I'm free!" Garet exclaimed. He looked down at the piece of paper with the signature. "Wow! My worst nightmare really did sign it! He got kidnapped though."

"Your worst nightmare is Barney the Dinosaur?" Mia asked incredulously, staring at the signature.

Garet flinched and backed away from her, trembling. "Don't say the words!" he wailed.

"Barney the Dinosaur!" Mia shrieked. Garet screamed and fainted to the ground.

"...!" Isaac pointed at Jenna.

"Kad mucd!" Jenna screeched, then she realised something was wrong. "Fryt dra ramm ys e cyoehk?"

"Fantastic," Mia sighed. "I'm surrounded by a mute, an idiot and someone speaking a foreign language. Jenna, where are we?"

"Vale!" Jenna replied, looking at Mia as if she was crazy. "Kad naym, Mia!"

"Well, obviously your nouns are all right." Mia shrugged. "I don't know what to do."

---

"I am Piers the sailor man..." Piers sang as he sailed his ship over the open seas by Angara. He loved to sail and was quite preoccupied with sailing so he did not notice that the sea had a yellow tint or that something scary was coming his way.

"Greetings," said the whale, looming over the ship. "I am a whale and I am not scary."

"Huh?" Piers walked over to the side of the boat and looked at the whale. "Who are you?"

"My name is Moby Dick," answered the whale in a deadly serious voice. Piers stared, eyes widening, then he burst out laughing and fell over the side of the ship and straight into Moby's wide open mouth. The whale shut his mouth and swam away.

---

"Ten, eleven, twelve..." Ivan slowly counted as he walked out of contigo, playing a boring and pointless game which involved counting how many steps from a random tree stump to just outside the village. "Thirteen!" Little did he know, he'd said a very unlucky number and was now about to suffer from bad luck.

Ominous footsteps sounded in the distance, coming even closer. Ivan slowly looked up and gasped in horror. The four Teletubbies were marching toward him with evil grins on their faces.

"I love you, Po!" said LaaLaa the yellow teletubby, hugging her red friend.

"I love you too, LaaLaa!" replied the red teletubby.

"Help!" Ivan screamed, trying to turn and run away. He tripped over a giant Smartie lying on the ground instead. "Where did that come from?"

"Look, a new toy!" yelled Dipsy the green Teletubby, pointing at Ivan.

"Yay!" cried his purple friend, Tinky Winky, clapping his hands. "Let's play a special game with him!"

"Somebody help me!" Ivan exclaimed, grabbing the giant Smartie and trying to throw it at the Teletubbies. However, the Smartie remained stuck to his hand. "Huh? It's stuck?"

Ivan would have tried the run away tactic instead, since he felt that such manifestations of evil would not be so easily brought down by his Psynergy, but then he realised he was sitting in a puddle of Superglue. "Hama! Help! Anybody?"

"Ivan, how many times must I tell you..." Hama said as she walked up. She stopped and looked down at her distressed little brother then saw the Teletubbies. "Oh. I see what is going on."

"I'm stuck!" Ivan struggled to get off the ground, but simply could not.

"Then say the magic words," Hama said, nervously eyeing the Teletubbies as they came even closer. "If you evil things come any closer, I will cast Spark Plasma. I mean it."

"What are the magic words?" Ivan asked desperately.

"I can't tell you them," replied Hama. "The magic words are only known when you need them."

"Uh... right..." Ivan decided to try yelling something completely random. "Yellow cows and blue baps make green beefburgers!"

"No, Ivan! Those were the wrong magic words!" Hama cried out.

"What? How did you know?" Ivan asked, just as Big Bird flew through the sky, wrenched him out of the superglue and flew away with him.

"Well, at least he's out of the glue now," Hama said to herself, turning to look at the Teletubbies. She promptly cast Spark Plasma.

For some reason, the Psynergy didn't do what it was meant to do. The Teletubbies simply grew to fifty feet tall, their grins looking even eviller.

"Oh, crap," Hama whispered.

---

"Where am I?" Sheba wondered as she woke up in a cell. For some crazy reason, the cell door was wide open. Sheba screamed as she saw a skeleton lying in the corner but then it occurred to her the skeleton was dead and couldn't do anything to her, so she calmed down and simply got up, walking out of the cell.

Sheba walked along a boring nondescript corridor, wondering where she was. Would she be able to escape from this prison?

---

"Tu cusahdrek!" Jenna wailed, looking quite distressed. "E cuiht mega yh ymeah!"

"Ooh, I know!" Garet exclaimed. "We could climb the magic beanstalk and get help!"

"...!" Isaac hit Garet in the head, glaring at him.

"You're mean!" Garet pouted. "That's it! I am going to prove that it is a magical beanstalk once and for all!"

"Oh, haha," Mia said sarcastically. "You are so funny sometimes, Garet."

"Funny? I'll show you funny!" A talking Chocobo walked up and pecked Mia on the head, then ran off.

"Ow- heeheehee!" Mia burst out laughing, kneeling over. "Ha ha ha ha!"

"...?" Isaac looked quite confused as he poked Mia, who only laughed harder.

"Hi!" Mia exclaimed, turning around and frantically shaking Isaac's hand. "My name is Missing in action! I'm very pleased to meet you! What's your name? It isn't Cloud, is it? I've always wanted to meet a Cloud, apparently they have psychosis and like to sit on the ground, clutching their heads and muttering about Sephiroths and Jenovas!"

"..." Isaac backed away, wide-eyed.

"It isn't?" Mia gasped. "Then are you actually a magical flying boy with superpowers who can hatch eggs? Can you show me? I would really like to see! I've heard that there are people who can stick their tongues out and jump off cliffs. Can you do that? Can you blink? I think blinking is so cool, I wish I could- oh, wow! I can blink! Did you see that?"

"I am going to climb the beanstalk now," Garet announced, before stomping off.

"Ypcumidamo lnywo," Jenna put her finger to her head and twirled it around, then pointed at Mia. Isaac merely nodded.

---

Garet approached the beanstalk, absolutely intending to climb it. He noticed Aaron was already climbing and gasped in horror. "Aaron! What are you doing to my precious beanstalk?" Garet rushed over and hugged the precious beanstalk. "Are you okay, beanstalk?"

"Whee!" Aaron cried as he climbed even higher. "This is fun!"

"It's okay, beanstalk," Garet whispered, stroking the stem. "I'll get that horrible little boy down for you."

"You're stupid, Garet!" Aaron yelled. "It's only a plant!"

Garet gasped in shock. "How could you say such a thing? It's my baby... my own, my love... my precious..."

Aaron started laughing. "This thing's your precious?"

"Do not insult the precious!" Garet yelled. "We is insulted, we are! Nasty little kidses, nasty little brotherses! They touches the precious! We hates them!" He made a swallowing noise and tightened his hold on the beanstick. "Precious!"

"I wonder how high this goes?" Aaron asked as he climbed even higher.

"Aaron!" Kay yelled from the ground. "Get down from there right now!"

"Ahh!" Aaron began climbing even faster in order to get as far away from her as possible. "Scary big sister!"

"Garet, stop hugging that beanstalk," Kay demanded, sharply kicking him.

"No! My precious!" Garet growled. "It's ours! Nasty big sisterses, they tries to take it, tries to take the precious! We hates them! Hates them!"

"Stop talking like that. Now," Kay hissed, a vein pulsing in her forehead. "Otherwise, I'll burn it all down."

"Never!" Garet shouted, turning around. "If you wants to burn it down, you must answer riddleses first! Let's make her play riddleses, precious!" He swallowed some more.

"Riddles? Go ahead," Kay said, smiling evilly.

"I'm thinking of purple dinosaurs with teeth," Garet said. "It is my worst nightmare. What is it?"

"Easy. Barney the Dinosaur," replied Kay. Garet sank to the ground, whimpering. "What do I have in my pocket?"

"A beanstalk!" Garet yelled. "It's got to be a beanstalk!"

"Moron." Kay slapped her forehead. "How could I have a beanstalk in my pocket? Use your head for once."

"No! We lost! Forgive me, precious!" Garet wailed, throwing himself at the beanstalk in a mournful embrace.

Aaron was now at the top of the beanstalk, gazing at an expanse of fluffy, white clouds. Without another thought, he got off the beanstalk and wandered off to explore.

"Hey, where did Aaron go?" Kay demanded, staring up at the beanstalk. "Uh oh."

"Precious," Garet hissed, stroking the stem. "My precious."

"Aaron's gone!" Kay cried. "This is all your fault, Garet! You shouldn't have planted those stupid beans!"

"But Isaac said they weren't magical!" Garet protested. "Nasty Isaacses."

"Snap out of it!" Kay yelled. "If Mom and Dad find out we let Aaron disappear, we're going to be in big trouble!"

"Troubleses. Nasty troubleses." Garet cringed. "Stay away... nasty Kayses."

Kay groaned in frustration, clutching her head. Garet didn't seem like he would be snapping out of his stupid mood anytime soon.

---

Sheba came to a dead end and let out a frustrated sigh. Then out of nowhere, a giant menacing bat flew at her. Sheba screamed and dodged as the flapping monstrosity divebombed her.

There was a stick lying on the ground. Sheba picked it up and impulsively pointed it at the bat, yelling "Avada Kedavra!" With a flash of green light, the bat exploded and now she was safe. Sheba let out a sigh of relief and wiped her forehead. Then the stick crumbled into dust.

Suddenly, a very freaky looking clown appeared and advanced on her with an evil grin. "Hello. I am Ronald McDonald!"

"Nooooo... wait, who the heck are you anyway?" Sheba asked, raising an eyebrow. "I've never heard of you before."

"I am your worst nightmare," answered the freaky clown, lurching toward her.

"NO! LORD BABI!" Sheba screamed and turned around, running right through the wall.

---

"And then I was floating on a river of purple muck, inside a green tree trunk, and I had no idea where I was going, but a pink canary came to me and told me I was sailing southwards to the Island of Lime-Eating Lemmings," Mia was saying. "I'd always wanted to meet Lime-Eating Lemmings, so I was really excited, but then a disaster happened and a blue Crocodile named Dundee tried to eat the trunk, so I said 'BOO!' and Dundee turned into an alligator! So I said 'BOO' again, and this weird ghost grabbed the Alligator by the nose and threw it into a big funny floating blue ball in the sky, and the ball went 'BOOM!' and the ghost was called Casper, and it asked me where I was going and I said I was headed towards the Island of Lime-Eating Lemmings..."

Isaac and Jenna were currently curled up on the ground, snoring. But Mia had not yet realised that as she continued to tell her completely weird and utterly false tale.

---

"Help!" Felix yelled as he ran from an insane purple dinosaur with a whip, through a dark and scary tunnel. "Somebody save me! I don't want to die!"

"This will teach you not to impersonate me!" Barney cackled, swinging the flaming whip. "Come here, I want to teach you a lesson!"

"No!" Felix continued running, sweat pouring down his head. He stopped as he came to the edge of a cliff. "Oh, crap!"

Barney cackled as he came even closer. "I do believe I feel like singing. I love you, you love me..."

"No, don't sing!" Felix wailed, facing the purple dinosaur while well aware of the cliff at his back. "Anything but that!"

"We're a happy family..." Barney sang, swinging the whip as he advanced on Felix, grinning evilly.

"Stay back!" Felix yelled. "Go back to the shadow, the fire will not avail you, spawn of Satan!"

Several Lord of the Rings fanatics were unimpressed with this spoofing of Lord of the Rings, so they popped out of nowhere and shot at the cliff with arrows. The cliff began to crumble and break apart.

"Oh damn..." Felix wondered which was best, falling off a cliff or running to a purple dinosaur. He chose to fall off the cliff. Unexpectedly, he was grabbed in mid-air by a giant yellow bird. "What the heck?"

"Hi, Felix!" Ivan greeted him. "I'm in a bit of a sticky situation here. Well, not as sticky as the last one, but..."

"Who the heck is this bird?" Felix demanded, sneezing as a yellow feather tickled his nose. "You don't have any tissues, do you?"

"Nope," Ivan replied. "The bird... I think he may be called Big Bird."

"Oh, that's original!" Felix snapped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I would NEVER have thought to call an oversized bird by that name!"

Felix had managed to anger Big Bird so he promptly released the Adepts and they fell screaming to their doom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Invasion of Weyard**

* * *

This thing is horribly long, isn't it? Anyway, I'm separating it into chapters of course.

Camelot owns Golden Sun. Everything else is owned by someone else.

* * *

"Where am I?" Aaron wandered over the clouds, feeling quite bored. He stopped as he saw a group of talking animals and watched curiously.

"Where is Moby Dick?" demanded a tiger. "He is late!"

"Moby Dick?" An elephant started chuckling. "Boy, his parents must have really hated him."

"Excuse me!" snapped a dog. "My owner was called Dick!"

"I am here!" announced Moby Dick, somehow flying over and coming to settle in the circle of animals, before spitting out Piers. "I have brought the sacrifice."

"Ooh, what nice, soft clouds," Piers said, curling up on the clouds. "Thanks, Moby. I'm going to sleep now... hey, why are there animals sitting around me?"

"This is the sacrifice?" asked a giraffe.

"Yes, he is!" replied Moby. "He is the sacrifice we will present to our god!"

"All hail the Dr. Pepper god!" yelled the animals.

"Dr. Pepper god? What the heck?" Piers raised an eyebrow.

"Silence!" shouted the dog. "You shall not speak unless spoken to!"

"Do not speak in that way of the Dr. Pepper god," said the tiger, standing up and bowing. "We worship the Dr. Pepper god and lately our stocks of Dr. Pepper have been running dry so we will present a sacrifice. I hope he is pleased with you and will present us with more Dr. Pepper."

"Hey!" Aaron cried up, running to the animals. "I am the Dr. Pepper god!"

"All hail the Dr. Pepper god!" The elephant drummed his hooves. "He has turned up for the sacrifice!"

"Funny," murmured the whale. "I never expected the god of Dr. Pepper to be a little boy who looks like a girl."

"I do not look like a girl!" Aaron shouted in annoyance.

"Moby Dick!" The giraffe looked shocked. "You have angered the Dr. Pepper god!"

"I never!" argued the whale.

"It's not fair..." Aaron sobbed. "Everybody mistakes me for a girl..."

"Now you made him cry!" yelled the dog. "This is war!"

"War? Count me in!" cheered the tiger.

The animals promptly broke into a fierce fight. Piers quickly sneaked away and walked over to Aaron.

"How did you get here?" Piers asked.

"This way," said Aaron, running off. Piers followed and they found the hole in the clouds, the tip of the beanstalk inviting them to get back down. "I climbed up that beanstalk."

"I'm not too fond of heights," Piers muttered. He shakily grabbed the beanstalk and began climbing down. "It's not going to give way, is it?"

"It was fine when I climbed it, but I am very small," Aaron said, as he got onto the beanstalk.

"Mommy..." Piers whispered as he began to scale down the beanstalk. "I'm scared..."

"It helps not to look down," Aaron advised. "So don't look down."

Piers looked down and tightened his hold. "Ahh! I'm scared!"

---

"What was that?" Kay looked up. "It sounded like someone was being murdered."

"My precious!" Garet cried, hugging the beanstalk tightly. "Are you okay? Answer me!"

"That's it!" Kay snapped and flung a fireball at the beanstalk. Her eyes widened as it caught fire and began to burn. "Wow... awesome..."

"NO!" Garet wailed as his beanstalk went up in flames. "Precious!"

The beanstalk began to fall over in a smoking, smouldering heap.

"Er, Aaron was up there, wasn't he?" Garet asked.

"Dang, I forgot!" Kay yelled, smacking her forehead.

---

"And then the grass grew tall and an orangutan came along and I punched the orangutan in the face, and the orangutan cried and turned a green colour so it was now a greenutan, and it was not very impressed. I whipped out a flute and played on it, and the greenutan screamed and ran, and I chased it..."

Mia had still not ceased to tell stories. Jenna and Isaac continued to slumber peacefully.

---

"Aaaahhhh!" Felix and Ivan screamed as they continued falling to their deaths, only to land on a giant web.

"What?" Ivan looked around in confusion.

"We seem to have landed on a giant cobweb," Felix said, looking up. His eyes widened and he screamed. Ivan screamed as well.

A giant spider was coming toward them. It looked very hungry.

"Shelob!" Ivan wailed. "Run!"

But Felix and Ivan could quite simply not run. They were stuck fast to the cobweb.

"I seem to be caught in another sticky situation," Ivan said, groaning aloud.

---

"We are so, so doomed," Hama said as the giant Teletubbies marched forward.

"Greetings!" said a weird looking man behind her.

"Who the heck are you?" Hama demanded. "In case you hadn't noticed, I am facing off against four giant Teletubbies."

"Never fear! I am Gary Stu!" declared the man, walking forward and staring at the Teletubbies. He promptly waved his hand like a Jedi and the Teletubbies vanished.

"... Bwuh?" Hama blinked.

"I am invincible and awesome!" Gary Stu cackled.

"O RLY?" asked the Wise One.

"YA RLY!" yelled Gary Stu, kicking the Wise One. The one-eyed rock went flying from the force of the kick.

"Argh!" Hama clutched her head. "The Stu... the pain..."

"Even better, I am related to a canon character!" Gary Stu grinned. "I am Briggs's brother!"

"I don't have a brother," said Briggs, who had simply come out of nowhere. "You're lying."

"No! I'm busted!" wailed the Gary Stu, who ran away crying. Then he spontaneously combusted.

"How did you get here, whoever you are?" asked Hama.

"I am Briggs of Champa and I came here on my ship!" Briggs declared. "I came to rob Contigo... uh, I mean..."

"Bad Briggsy!" Chaucha walked up and smacked him on the head. "We came here on vacation!"

"Goo-goo?" Eoleo looked up at Hama. "Goo?"

"Sure, whatever," Hama shrugged. Eoleo promptly burst out laughing, much to her confusion.

---

"Now where am I?" Sheba wondered as she walked through a dark and creepy cavern.

"Bwahahahaha!" Ronald McDonald appeared in front of her. "There's no escape now! You cannot defy my powers!"

"What kind of powers?" Sheba asked sceptically.

"The power to make you faint!" said Ronald McDonald. "I am your father!"

"Aaaahhh!" Sheba fainted. Ronald McDonald began dragging her off.

Sheba slowly awoke and realised she was being dragged away by a psycho clown. She promptly cast Spark Plasma, knocking him out, then ran for it.

An incredible sight made her stop in her tracks. Sheba gasped in amazement at the mountain of Pixy Stix.

"Eat it!" said Ivan, appearing over one shoulder. "It would make you hyper and that would be so cool!"

"Don't eat it!" exclaimed Felix, appearing above the other shoulder. "If you became hyper, your powers would increase tenfold and the world would break under your might! Please don't eat it!"

"Quiet, Felix!" shouted Ivan. "If you eat it all, you could destroy the clown and then escape! Do you have any spider repellent?"

Ivan and Felix disappeared then Sheba lunged at the pile of Pixie Stix, hurriedly eating and becoming more hyper with each stick of sugar.

---

"Ahh!" Piers and Aaron were now falling to their doom as the beanstalk collapsed.

"Precious!" Garet wailed, crying waterfall tears.

Kay looked up and gasped as she saw Piers and Aaron falling down. "Uh oh."

"I'm too young to die!" Piers wailed as he fell toward the ground.

"I don't want to die!" Aaron screamed.

Suddenly, a blur shot through the sky and grabbed them, safely depositing them on the ground. Then the blur disappeared as quickly as it came and its identity will always remain a mystery.

"We're alive!" Aaron cried in relief, jumping up and down.

"Ooh, a burning beanstalk," Piers said, staring at the burning pile. "Not very safe though." He doused the fire, putting it out.

"My precious," Garet sobbed, lying across the ground with a heartbroken expression on his face. "No..."

---

"We are so doomed," Ivan whimpered, gazing at the spider.

"Am I going to be granted death at last?" Felix muttered in a brief spat of emo-ness. "I knew it would come for me one day."

"Hey, I'm wearing red slippers," realised Ivan. He looked at Felix. "You're wearing red slippers too. How odd."

"Listen!" Navi the fairy flew around their heads. "Listen, there's a way out. Listen, all you have to do is click your heels and say there's no place like home! Listen, try it!"

"Well, if it gets me away from this annoying fairy..." Ivan clicked his heels. "There's no place like home!"

"Listen, your name is my name backwards!" Navi cried at Ivan.

"There's no place like home!" Felix desperately yelled, clicking his heels.

Ivan and Felix promptly disappeared and Navi shrieked as Shelob snapped her up and swallowed her whole.

"Um, Felix?" Ivan asked hesitantly. "Where are we?"

"Sitting in front of a cave," answered Felix. "Why?"

"Should we be sitting in front of a cave?" Ivan asked. "Especially one with the word 'HOME' splashed on it in red paint?"

"Well, at least we're not stuck on a cobweb anymore," Felix said, getting up. "Let's find our way back home somehow."

"Stupid Navi." Ivan shook his head, following Felix.

---

"Ooh, what does this do?" Kraden had grabbed hold of a Furby and was currently examining it. "I wonder, it is a very interesting contraption indeed."

The Wise One came sailing through the sky and crashed on top of Kraden. The furby hissed, sparked, and exploded, sending the Wise One and Kraden flying.

"Oh my goodness!" Kraden cried out in delight. "I am flying with the Wise One! This is surely a joy and a delight to experience, I do hope this will last for a very long time, so that I can find out what happens if me and the Wise One fly together for a very long time-"

"Do you ever shut up?" asked the Wise One as they landed in the river. "I'm wet!"

"Now we are sitting in a river." Kraden was currently being swept away with the current, but he was too busy talking to notice such a thing. "This is very fascinating to see how the Wise One behaves when in a river, it seems that he says 'I'm wet' whenever he's in the river! Perhaps we should do it again to see if he says the same thing every time? Oh, golly gosh, now I am falling down a waterfall! Interesting!"

"Good riddance," The Wise One sailed off into the sky. "Does that old man ever shut up?"

---

"And then a white leopard came along." Mia was still telling her story, unaware that her audience was sleeping. "It was called White Leopard, funnily enough. I got on its back, and it flew off with me, and we went to the moon and then..."

There was a crash of lightning and a girl appeared. She was perfect with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and she wore a very skimpy outfit that left little to the imagination.

"Hail me!" yelled the girl. "I am Mary Sue!"

"Fryd?" Jenna awoke, and blinked at the girl. "Fru dra ramm yna oui?"

"Huh, an Al Bhed speaker?" Mary Sue squinted at Jenna. "The accent's a bit off."

"Yna oui ehcimdehk sa?" Jenna demanded, looking angry.

"Of course I am!" The Mary Sue tittered.

"Pedlr!" Jenna yelled, getting to her feet and running towards Mary Sue, aiming to punch her.

"KAMEHAMEHA!" Mary Sue screamed, hitting Jenna with a ball of light. Jenna screamed and went flying, landing in a heap. She was knocked unconscious, because she could not handle the power of the Mary Sue.

"And we danced under the moonlight and..." Mia broke off as she realised she'd said she danced under the moonlight, even though she was on the moon. "Er, I mean, under the sunlight and... hang on! Omigosh! Who are you? Do you eat fingernails? How does your breath smell? Ever eaten melons? Can I ask you a question? Why is the sky blue? Why don't lions bark? Why did the cow cross the road and not a chicken? When-"

"SHUT UP!" Mary Sue yelled, throwing a zillion shurikens through the air. Mia went flying, screaming as she did so, and she hit the tree, falling unconscious. "Hah..."

"...?" Isaac got to his feet looking confused. He saw that Jenna and Mia were unconscious and pointed at Mary Sue, looking horrified. "... ... ... ...!"

"Omigosh!" Mary Sue squealed and put her hands to her face, staring at Isaac with a raptured expression. "Isaac! I love you! I want to marry you!"

"...!" Isaac turned and fled, with the Mary Sue chasing him. Naturally, because she was a Mary Sue, she outran him and pinned him to the ground, trying to kiss him...

But there is one thing that nothing can overcome.

It is all-powerful.

It's nearly as bad as Sheba and her Djinn having too many Pixie Stix.

Which we'll see the results of later.

It is...

Scary.

It is...

An angry Mia with a mace, while it's her time of the month.

"LEAVE ISAAC ALONE!" Mia came running and knocked Mary Sue off Isaac with her mace.

The scenes that follow are too graphic and violent to be described, and therefore have been cut out. We will just say that Mia has successfully managed to destroy the Mary Sue.

"...!" Isaac grinned happily.

"Oh, Isaac!" Mia flung her arms around him. "Thank goodness you're okay! See, I got rid of that horrible Mary Sue, it was so awful, she was going to kiss you! Nobody touches my Isaac and lives!" Mia and Isaac started kissing passionately.

---

"A lot of strange things have been happening," Garet said, once he had got over the loss of his beanstalk. "Isn't it weird?"

"Yeah. I think it all started when I pushed that button," said Aaron.

"Button?" Piers blinked.

"Yeah, the button on that shiny ball," answered Aaron.

"We're in the middle of the Apocalypse, it seems," Kay sighed. "I hope the Apocalpyse ends soon because I have a headache and I don't like it."

---

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" Sheba laughed insanely as she wrenched a tree from the ground and threw it. It conveniently landed on top of the Alhafran Mayor, only to bounce off and roll into a house. The Alhafrans ran around screaming that it was the Apocalypse.

For it indeed was the Apocalypse now.

Sheba after eating too much Pixy Stix.

Clouds collected in the sky and it started to pour with rain, while forks of lightning hit the ground, illuminating the dark sky with bright flashes and blinding people. The wind lashed fiercely at trees and tore them out of the ground, throwing them in any old direction. The ground cracked and split in places, the storm rumbled ominously and the earth shook with mighty force.

---

"Oh no," Hama muttered, holding her head in her hands and trying to ignore the fierce storm and the shaking ground. "It really is the Apocalypse. We're really doomed now."

Hama's worst fears were confirmed as Mikasalla burst into flames, due to Sheba running through it and tearing up the ground and somehow causing a fire.

---

"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Sheba ran past Ivan and Felix, sending them flying. Fortunately, Felix and Ivan landed in a tree, and managed to climb down, running for dear life as the tree burst into flames.

"What was that?" Ivan cringed as the rain soaked into him, making him sopping wet.

"The Apocalypse," Felix told him. "Also known as an Insane Sheba who's eaten too much Pixy Stix." He held up the Teleport Lapis and teleported to Vale, along with Ivan.

"Felix, why didn't you use the Teleport Lapis before?" Ivan asked, shivering violently and hoping he was not coming down with pneumonia.

"Oops," Felix stared at the blue stone. "I... forgot?"

---

"Hey, I'm a Jupiter Adept, I should be able to teleport!" And so, Hama teleported to Vale, right next to Ivan and Felix. "We've got a catastrophe on our hands."

"No kidding." Felix pocketed the Teleport Lapis. "It's the Pixy Stix's fault!"

"I'm wet!" yelled Jenna, sitting up and looking angry. "Who is responsible for me being wet?"

"The rain?" Ivan asked.

"I don't like this storm," Jenna growled, stomping up to Felix, Ivan and Hama. "Hey! I'm speaking normally again! Yes, I'm not speaking Al Bhed anymore!"

"Sheba plus too much Pixie Stix equals destruction," Ivan said wisely.

"Ahh." Jenna looked evil. "So Sheba must be to blame for the storm."

"No, it's the Pixy Stix," Hama corrected her. "It seems that Sheba may have been too weak to resist the pull of the sugar, and thus she bowed to its will, and it's using her to create destruction! We're doomed unless we find a way to stop Sheba from destroying the world!"

"But we just saved Weyard!" Felix wailed. "You mean we have to save it AGAIN?"

---

"Several Pixie Stix to scare them all, several pixie stix to destroy them, several pixie stix to annihilate them all and in the darkness confound them!" Sheba sang, not noticing the Lord of the Rings fanatics pointing their arrows at her for messing up the next famous quote. As it was, the arrows missed by a million miles.

"You know you-" Barney was promptly torn apart into little pieces by the power of Sheba running straight through him, cackling insanely as she did so. The Barney Haters promptly worshipped Sheba as their Goddess.

"STOP!" Ronald McDonald stood in front of her, grinning insanely. "BWAHAHA-" He was promptly fried to a crisp as Sheba cast Spark Plasma before running off to make tracks through Garoh. The Ronald McDonald haters promptly worshipped Sheba for destroying the evil clown.

---

Meanwhile, back in Vale, Felix, Jenna, Piers, Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia, Hama, Kay, Aaron and random assorted Valeans were holed up in a house, trying to keep dry, while the Adepts wondered what to do.

"Well, it's obvious," Felix said finally. "We have to stop Sheba before she destroys the world."

"But how do we stop Sheba?" Mia asked.

"..." Isaac shook his head. "..."

"Oh, come on, Isaac." Ivan read his mind. "You really mean to say you don't know?" Isaac nodded.

"I think we're doomed," Hama said for the zillionth time. "There is nothing we can do."

"Wait for her to calm down?" Garet suggested.

"But by that time, the world could be nothing but smoking ruins!" Jenna argued.

"That's bad right?" Garet asked.

"Of course it is you moron!" Kay yelled. "None of us want to die!"

"We're gonna die?" Aaron burst into tears. "It's not fair!"

"We're not going to die." Mrs Jerra tried to console her son. "Stop crying!"

"Where's the Wise One when you need him?" Dora asked. "He was such a nice, helpful rock too!"

"Last time I saw him, he was kicked off somewhere by a Gary Stu," Hama explained. "I don't know what happened to him since. Fortunately, the Gary Stu was destroyed somehow."

"Does the Wise One like Lucozade?" Kyle asked, holding up a bottle of Lucozade. "He might come if we offer to give him this."

"Kyle, I don't the Wise One can drink." Dora shook her head. "He's a floating rocky eyeball."

"Maybe we could just try talking to Sheba?" asked Piers.

"That's suicide!" Mia yelled.

"Got any better options?" asked Jenna. Mia shook her head. "Exactly."

"Sure, let's commit suicide and talk to an insane Sheba." Felix smiled fakely. "I'm all for it!"

"It's settled then!" Garet exclaimed. "We'll talk to Sheba!"

"...!" Isaac drew a finger across his neck.

"It might work," Ivan said to Isaac, who stared glumly at the floor.

"Well, we'll miss you, son." Mr Jerra laid a hand on Garet's shoulder. "You're going to sacrifice yourself to try and save Weyard, here's hoping it works."

"I don't feel too good," Piers muttered. "I must be bad luck or something."

"You suggested it," Jenna told him.

"I was being sarcastic!" Piers whispered hoarsely.

"Well, too late now," Jenna said matter-of-factly. "We're going to commit suicide." Piers groaned and buried his head in his hands, whimpering.

"... ...!" Isaac jumped to his feet, punching the air.

"I think he said let's go," Felix said, also getting to his feet.

"Wish us luck!" Hama smiled at the Valeans, who just stared glumly back.

"Don't go," Aaron protested.

"It's for the world," Garet told him. "We've got no choice."

"I won't miss you or anything." Kay smiled.

"Kay!"

"I mean, I'll miss you so much!" Kay put her head in her hands and sobbed fakely. "I wish you didn't have to go, it won't be the same without you!"

"Oh, haha," Garet said sourly. "You're not funny."

And then Felix, Jenna, Picard, Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia and Hama walked out of the house ready to go and confront Sheba, even if it meant they could die.

"Is he really going to die?" Kay asked shakily. "I didn't mean it!" Aaron started crying.

"It was for the best, wasn't it?" Mrs Jerra asked, glancing at her husband.

"I think so," Mr Jerra replied.

"Then why do I feel like I want to hit my head with a frying pan?" Mrs Jerra demanded.

"It's for the world," Garet's grandfather said. "All we can do is pray it works."

"Never mind, let's just... er, talk to flamingos?" Garet's grandmother suggested.

"Oh no! Grandmother is going senile!" Mrs Jerra gasped.

"I am not!" cried the indignant old woman.

"My son," Dora wept. "I wish he didn't have to be so heroic... if he dies, I'll never forgive whoever was responsible for it! Isaac!"

"I haven't even caught up on the three years we've been apart!" Kyle wailed. "It's not fair!"

"Do you realise both our children went off to die?" Felix and Jenna's mother asked her husband.

"They have?" He blinked. "Do you think we should try for more- ow! What did you hit me for? That wasn't very nice!" He sobbed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Invasion of Weyard**

* * *

Final chapter! 

I do not own anything. Camelot owns Golden Sun.

* * *

"Let's talk about what we'll miss most if we die!" Garet suggested as the Adepts sailed off through the sky in their ship. "I'll miss being able to eat food! I wonder if they have food wherever we go when we die?" 

"Shut up, Garet," said Jenna miserably. "I'll miss being able to burn everything in sight."

"..." Isaac sniffled.

"He said he'd miss being able to kiss Mia because he thinks wherever they go, they might not be able to do that," Ivan explained after reading Isaac's mind. "I'll most miss being able to cast Spark Plasma on Garet whenever he calls me a midget or short... I'm not short, I'm vertically challenged!"

"If we can't kiss, then I'll miss being able to kiss Isaac most of all!" Mia wailed, collapsing to the deck and sobbing. "I'll miss it so much!"

"I'll miss being able to burrow through the ground using Sand Psynergy and slip past people unnoticed and do whatever I like without people noticing!" Felix whined. "But I suppose the world matters more, because if Sheba destroys it, I won't be able to do it anyway!"

"Yeah, we'd die anyway," Piers sighed. "I'll most miss sending letters to Conservato to make him angry."

"How do you send letters to him?" Ivan asked, giving Piers a weird look.

"Pigeon Post," Piers said simply as if those two words alone explained everything that everybody needed to know about how he was able to send letters to Conservato.

"I'll most miss being able to show off my superb Jupiter powers," Hama sighed. "I bet that Sheba's able to cast even better Spark Plasmas than mine while on so much sugar."

"Hey, the boat's filling up with water!" Mia realised. "It can't sink in the air can it?"

"It's a ship!" Piers argued. "Not a boat! Uh oh, it's really filling up... never mind, I can always use my Parch Psynergy to make it go away."

---

"BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Sheba charged towards Madra, intent on destroying the town and the people who lived there, simply because she was hyper and insane from having too much sugar. "PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Four giant teletubbies appeared in front of Sheba and actually halted her in her tracks.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Sheba was uncowed by the fifty foot tall Teletubbies and cast Spark Plasma. Of course, her super powers destroyed them in an instant and she grinned evilly, looking at the town of Madra close by with lightning bolts dancing around her. "Are you ready, Madra?"

"Stop!" Nine voices shouted in unison as the ship lowered itself to the ground and the Adepts came running out.

"SUGAR!!!!!!!" Sheba screamed, jumping up and down and causing the ground to shake violently, which made all nine Adepts fall down of course. "I want sugar!"

"It's okay, we'll give you sugar- ON ONE CONDITION!" Felix's voice rose in panic as Sheba looked like she was about to charge him and nab whatever sugar he was claiming to have.

"I don't like conditions!" Sheba growled. "Give me the sugar!"

"Holy Macaroni!" Ivan screamed, and wet himself. "Oh no."

"Hah hah!" Garet pointed at Ivan. "Ivan wet himself!"

"Shut up!" Ivan growled, flaring bright red in the face. "It's not funny, Garet!"

"I got it!" Hama cried out. "We need to say the magic words!"

"And what are the magic words?" Jenna yelled.

"SUGAR!!!" Sheba prepared to charge, her grin becoming even wider. Her eyes flashed dangerously.

"Calm down!" Piers cried out, holding his hands up. "We don't want to die yet!"

"...!" Isaac closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to see his fate.

"Yeah, some of the people here have families!" Mia shouted. "Would you want to make families unhappy? Think about it first!"

"I don't think she's going to calm down." Felix gulped.

"It's the magic words we all say at once when we most need them!" Hama declared.

"Last time you tried telling me that, I said the wrong magic words!" Ivan argued.

"Would you rather die?" Hama asked, smiling sweetly. Ivan shivered and shook his head. "On the count of three..."

"One..."

Sheba lowered her head, an evil grin spreading across her face.

"Two..."

Sheba put a threatening step forwards and tensed. The bolts dancing around her intensified.

"Three..."

And then Sheba started running towards the group of nine vulnerable Adepts, causing cracks in the ground behind her as they charged.

"PINK FLUFFY MARSHMALLOWS!"

Sheba mercifully halted in her tracks, mere centimetres away from the nearest Adept who happened to be Felix, and fell flat on her face.

"Whew!" Felix wiped his brow. "I thought we were goners!"

"It worked, it worked!" Ivan cheered and punched the air.

"Told you it would!" Hama grinned.

"I'm still able to eat food! ALL RIGHT!" Garet punched the air.

And as Sheba recovered from the sugar overdose, all the destruction that she had caused undid itself. The storm clouds disappeared along with the rain and lightning bolts and the ground put itself back together. Everything was now back to normal, the Adepts had successfully saved the world and they were still alive.

"Ooog..." Sheba sat up, rubbing her forehead. "I've got a major headache."

"We saved the world!" Jenna jumped up and down for joy. "We saved the world!"

"Well, we should go back to Vale and let our families know!" Garet grinned. "Bet they thought we died!"

"Actually, we thought we were going to die." Piers shuddered. "I never want to experience that again."

"Isaac!" Mia grabbed her boyfriend and they kissed happily.

Then the Adepts went to Vale and everybody had a party in the plaza only for it to be disrupted.

"BWAHAHAHAHA! It's not over yet!"

The Adepts looked around in surprise and saw Bill Gates step out of a portal.

"...?" Isaac looked questioningly at the weird man wearing glasses, and tried to look very scary, but of course it did not work. "...!"

"I am Bill Gates!" Bill Gates chuckled. "Who was it who was clever enough to open the Pokéball and unleash plenty of evil upon Weyard? Of course I'm unhappy that they all seem to have been destroyed."

"What, the funny white and red ball with a button?" Aaron asked. Bill Gates nodded. "Oops."

"Well done, you moron!" Kay yelled. "You're just as stupid as Garet!"

"Hey, you're stupid too!" Garet yelled at her. "You burnt my precious while Aaron and Piers were climbing down it!"

"At least I'm not as stupid as you!" Kay retorted.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

And then Kay punched Garet, and Garet started crying.

"So, what are you doing here?" Felix asked.

"I have come to unleash the evils of Windows on the world!" Bill Gates cackled. "Take this! BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!"

Naturally, since they were Adepts, their Psynergy popped up and made domes around them so naturally the Blue Screen Of Death did not work on them. Bill Gates was stunned.

"No!" Bill Gates gasped. "You survived the Blue Screen Of Death! How could you? Illegal operation!" He pointed a finger in a random direction, at a random Adept who happened to be Ivan. Naturally, it didn't work. "NO! Uh... Illegal Operation in Kernel32.dll!"

Naturally, Illegal Operation in Kernel32.dll didn't work.

"Had enough fun?" asked Sheba. "Go back to wherever you came from, you stupid man!"

"Otherwise we might get cross and we might have to hurt you," Hama folded her arms. "Which do you prefer?"

"You may think you have defeated me, but you are so wrong!" Bill Gates cackled. "Random Video Game Character attack!"

Suddenly, Blinx the Cat appeared out of nowhere. He grabbed Jenna and ran off, laughing maniacally as he did so.

"Hey!" Felix yelled. "What did you do that for? Now I'm pissed."

"No! Jenna!" Her mother screamed. "Come back!"

"Sheesh, don't tell me we lost her again," Jenna's father sighed and kneaded his forehead. "I've got a headache."

"Jenna!" Garet wailed in anguish. "That cat kidnapped her!"

"Well, we'll just have to save her then!" Ivan struck a heroic pose.

"Try if you dare." Bill Gates shone a torch in his face and cackled, then ran off on Blinx's trail. It seemed that Blinx had left a trail of paw prints for some strange and unexplainable reason that made no sense.

"It's simple!" Sheba knelt next to the paw prints. "We just follow the paw prints!"

"Let's go!" Mia yelled.

And then, Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia, Felix, Sheba, Piers and Hama set off, running along the paw print trails.

---

"Hahahahaha!" Blinx the Cat cackled as he ran into a dark, creepy cavern with Jenna. "You will never escape!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Jenna murmured in a bored tone. "Trust me, I've been kidnapped before. And even then it wasn't much of a kidnapping because my brother was there. So... is this a real kidnapping?"

"You betcha!" cackled Blinx. "We're going to keep you here for eternity!"

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Jenna said sarcastically. She was not very impressed with this cat who thought it was kidnapping her. In actual fact, Jenna was just letting him get away with it, she could have burnt him to a crisp at any old time but she wanted to know where he was taking her. "Hang on, we?"

"Yes, I have mates." Blinx grinned evilly. "We're all felines, so you'll have a very fun time, won't you? There's me of course, I'm Blinx the Cat. There's also Felix the cat-"

"Felix?" Jenna raised an eyebrow and made a note to burn that one first. The nerve of it, a cat stealing her brother's name!

"And Puss in Boots, Dick Whittington's cat-"

"Dick?" Jenna started cackling. "That's funny!"

"And Salem the cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Big the Cat-"

"I bet Big the Cat is tiny," Jenna muttered sarcastically. It seemed that being bored could make her very sarcastic, and she was especially dangerous like this.

"And Hello Kitty!" Blinx said finally. "I'll introduce them to you properly when we get to the darkest, creepiest part of this dark, creepy cavern!"

"I don't see anything creepy about it," Jenna muttered, getting so bored she almost fell asleep, but since Blinx was bouncing about a lot, it was quite difficult. "Can't you slow down?"

"Nope, we're here!" Blinx cheered and threw Jenna on the ground.

"OW!" Jenna winced and looked around. The cave was illuminated with torches fixed into the wall. "You said this was the DARKEST, creepiest part of the cavern! It's not dark!"

"Meet my friends!" Blinx gestured at a row of freaky looking felines of all shapes and sizes.

"Well, okay, you got the creepiest part down right," Jenna murmured under her breath.

---

"Hey! There's Bill Gates up ahead!" Ivan yelled. "Over there!"

"Dang, they're catching up, how did they find me?" Bill Gates wailed and jumped through a portal.

"HEY, GET BACK HERE!" Felix shouted.

"Too late, he's gone," Mia shook her head.

"What a cheating lowlife," Sheba shook her fist at the space where the portal had been.

"... ..." Isaac set off along the pawprint trail.

"Keep going!" Hama insisted. "We must save Jenna quickly!"

"That cat better not have hurt her," Garet growled menacingly. "Otherwise I'll hurt him badly."

"I wonder why Jenna didn't just burn him?" Piers wondered as they started running off along the trail again. "Unless her curiosity led her to find out where the cat was taking her?"

---

"FROGGY!" Big the Cat started to lurch towards Jenna. "I want Froggy!"

"Aaah! I'm not a frog!" Jenna threw Fire Psynergy at Big the Cat, but missed. However, the oversized cat got the message and slunk back to the row of cats, whimpering.

"We've been friends for years, Froggy," Big whined.

"Now, now, that kind of behaviour won't do," Blinx scolded as he pulled a lever in the wall. "Say goodnight."

"Yikes" Jenna yelped as she fell down the hole that appeared under her and hit the soft ground beneath. "That wasn't very nice!" she yelled up at the disappearing chink of light.

Jenna was surrounded by the walls of the cave, so she just sat where she was and listened to the felines up above. Unfortunately, what she was hearing was not very nice, and it made her want to go insane.

"Ohhhh, Hello Kitty! Oh oh ohhhhhh!"

"OOH! Yes, Big, yes!"

"Take this, Salem!"

"AHH! Oh gosh, Blinx, oh!"

"Want some, Puss in Boots?"

"Yes, Felix, give me that long, hard-"

That was it. Jenna lost it then. Right then. Probably because of the very unsavoury image that came to her mind. But we shouldn't go there.

(In actuality, Big was singing, Hello Kitty liked it a lot, Blink was torturing Salem, Felix was offering Puss in Boots hard French bread. Of course, Jenna didn't know that.)

---

The Adepts were amazed as an entire mountain exploded in a fury of flames and red hot rock. None of the cats survived the explosion naturally and the rock dissolved in the heat.

Jenna soared into the sky, glowing with her element. Her eyes flared bright red, fire trailed behind her and her hands shone with it. The temperature rose alarmingly, but fortunately not enough to incinerate anybody in the nearby vicinity.

"Wow, what made Jenna crack?" Ivan gazed at the flaring Mars Adept in awe.

"It must have been something big to do that to her." Hama shook her head wonderingly. "I've never seen any Mars Adept do anything like that before."

"That power!" Sheba put her hand over her mouth in shock. "Remind me never to tease her again!"

"She's gone crazy." Garet smiled dopily. "You go, Jenna!"

"It's gotten hot around here all of a sudden." Mia wiped sweat off her face. "Phew!"

"!!!!!!!!!" Isaac nodded his head energetically, not being able to do much else, and displaying a thumbs up in the direction of the crazed Mars Adept.

"I have never seen Jenna do that." Felix gaped. "I really didn't know she could blow up an entire mountain."

Jenna started to fall, the fire fading from her. The temperature dropped back down to normal as she plummeted.

"JENNA!!!" The Adepts started running, knowing it wouldn't be good for anybody to fall from that height. Jenna plunged toward the ground, unable to slow her descent or stop herself from falling at all. Fortunately, the super speedy Jupiter Adepts ended up underneath her.

"Oof! You need to lose weight!" Ivan grunted.

"Ivan!" Hama and Sheba cried out at the same time, appalled with Ivan's bluntness.

"Ha ha ha," Jenna chuckled softly, rolling off the Jupiter Adepts and crouching on the ground as the Adepts surrounded her. "Haaaa haaaa haaa..."

"Jenna, what's wrong?" Garet asked. "Are you okay?"

"Hahahahaha," Jenna cackled, holding her head in her hands.

"I think she's hysterical," Mia told the Adepts. "Possibly something happened in that cave that did it to her."

"Let's read her mind," Ivan suggested. "She's in no state to tell us."

"No!" Hama stopped him. "I'll do it instead." She proceeded to read Jenna's mind and her eyes grew huge. "Ohhhh."

"What? What is it?" demanded Felix. "What happened to her?"

"Oh, I can't say." Hama was pale in the face. "I feel sorry for Jenna. That's terribly disturbing."

"What?" Sheba cried out. "Did that cat do something to her?"

"...!" Isaac stared questioningly at Hama. "???"

"Can't you tell us, Hama?" Mia ventured.

"Well, it seems there were some cats in there saying very naughty sounding things, but she's obliterated them." Hama shrugged. "It didn't help one of the cats was called Felix."

"What?" Felix exclaimed. "That's sick!"

"AAAAAAH!" Jenna clutched her head. "Stop it, stop it!"

"Sorry." Hama clapped her hand to her mouth. "I always end up saying too much."

"This is all Bill Gates's fault!" Sheba yelled. "Let's make him pay!"

"But he jumped through a portal!" Piers protested. "He got away."

"There was an idiot named Bill Gates!" Isaac burst into song. "Bill Gates was an idiot, cried when he saw a blob of ketchup, because he thought it was blood!"

"Isaac's not mute anymore!" Mia cried out in delight. "Yes!"

"Excuse me!" Bill Gates appeared through a portal, looking very angry. "That's slander! I am the great Bill Gates- no, the cats were killed?"

Jenna promptly launched a fireball in his face.

"AIIIIEEEEE!!! It burns, it burns!" screamed Bill Gates.

"The wrath of Jenna," Ivan murmured. "It really is interesting to see."

"I WANT MY MOMMY!!!" Bill Gates cried, as Jenna hit him with fireball after fireball.

"Call it pyrotherapy." Jenna grinned evilly, casting Dragon Fume and reducing him to cinders. "Did you like that?"

Naturally, since Bill Gates was now a pile of ashes, it was a little bit difficult to answer.

"Well, that's Bill Gates dealt with," Piers smiled in satisfaction. "What next?"

"We destroy all the evil that was unleashed by that ball!" Isaac declared.

"All at once?" asked Felix.

"No, we say more magic words!" Hama said.

"Well, it worked last time." Ivan shrugged. "We might as well try."

"So what are they?" asked Sheba impatiently.

"You only know them when you need them," answered Hama.

"As always," grumbled Garet. "It's so stupid."

"Well, we need it now." Mia pointed to a troop of Furbies charging towards the Adepts.

"Can't we just burn them?" Jenna asked.

"No, there's too many of them!" Isaac cried out.

"All at once now." Hama took a breath.

"LET THERE BE SANITY AND A MOOSE EATING REINDEER!!!"

The Furbies disappeared. Shelob disappeared. The still smoking beanstalk disappeared. Unfortunately, there was now a Moose Eating Reindeer on the loose.

"GIVE ME MOOSE!" The cannibalistic reindeer charged off in the direction of Vale.

"Oh no, it's heading towards Vale!" Jenna yelled.

"After it!" Isaac yelled.

"We gotta save Vale from the moose eating Reindeer!" Garet shouted.

"NOW!" Felix commanded as the Adepts gave chase after the Moose Eating Reindeer. Funnily enough, the Moose Eating Reindeer was barking.

"WOOF MOOSE WOOF MOOSE!" The Reindeer bellowed.

"Do you hear cries of 'mousse' in the distance?" Dora asked Kyle, looking confused. "I think I do."

"Why, yes, I think I do too." Kyle nodded. "Perhaps somebody wants some mousse."

"Well, here's one I made earlier!" Dora held up a dish of chocolate mousse and rushed out of the house.

"Wait, Dora-" Kyle started, but it was too late. He looked sad. "Not fair, I wanted to eat that."

"MOOOOOOOOOSE!!!" The reindeer skidded to a halt as it saw a woman holding a bowl of chocolate mousse, standing at the entrance of Vale.

"Oh, hello, you want this mousse?" Dora cheerfully offered the chocolate mousse. "I made it earlier. Wasn't that lucky? Here you come asking for mousse and I already have some made!"

The reindeer stared at her as if she was crazy.

"Mom, look out!" Isaac yelled, glowing with Psynergy. "ODYSSEY!"

The reindeer was promptly speared by several Psynergetic swords and disappeared.

"Isaac!" Dora scolded. "What did you do that for? The reindeer only wanted some mousse, you didn't have to be so horrible to it! You should be asha- OH, ISAAC, YOU'VE RETURNED!" she squealed, dropping the dish of chocolate mousse which splattered on the ground and rushed to hug her son.

"Nooo! I wanted some!" Isaac wailed. "It's not fair!"

"Life's not fair," Felix told him, walking into Vale. "Deal with it."

"At least you didn't have to deal with stupid cats," Jenna muttered.

"Everything's back to normal now." Ivan smiled. "So peaceful and nice again."

"Yes, now let's get back to Contigo." Hama smiled back and teleported away with him.

"Hey, they didn't even say bye, that's so rude." Mia pouted. "Isaac!"

"Mia!" Isaac freed himself from his mother's embrace and Isaac and Mia fell to the ground kissing.

"Jenna." Garet stood in front of her, grinning goofily. "I love you!"

"Oh. That's nice," Jenna said casually. Garet sighed and then Jenna caught him by surprise, kissing him.

"Oh, get a room, people!" Sheba walked into Vale, followed by Piers.

"Tell me about it." Piers shook his head.

"So, do I get away with it?" Aaron looked hopefully at his family. "It wasn't really my fault."

"You admitted to opening the ball," Kay pointed a finger at him. "You deserve to be punished."

"Oh don't be mean to him, Kay," Mrs Jerra scolded her. "He didn't know what he was doing."

"Okay, Aaron, you get away with it this time," Mr Jerra told him. "Now be a good boy."

"Yay!" Aaron scampered off.

"Aw, man..." Kay sighed.

And thus, Weyard was peaceful again... for now. The animals up in the cloud fainted from exhaustion, and once they were awake, they went their separate ways. The innocent squirrels got their own back by throwing the chickens and the goat in the sea which was fortunately no longer yellow but blue again.


End file.
